Growing up in an Italian family has been a roller coaster ride, yet I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. The screaming, the fighting, the hot tempers are all what I love most. And no, my last name is exactly “Moretti” or “Baglioni,” but I do identify with my Italian heritage more than anything else in this world.
My Grandparents
Since I was a little girl family has always been the most important thing to me, I never had a babysitter or a nanny but instead my parents would send me grandparent’s houses or with aunts and uncles, I was constantly surrounded by people I was related to. Throughout my childhood I was always taught that the trivial things in life didn’t matter, the single most important thing in life would be the relationships you built with the ones you loved and the ones I have built with my grandparents have stood out among the rest in a significant way and have made a huge impact on who I am today.
They are loud, outspoken, and possibly a little obnoxious but they have taught me that I should never be afraid to voice my opinion, whether someone wants to hear it or not. Both of their parents were immigrants from Italy and had to really work hard and make a life for themselves in the U.S. back in the early 20th century. They had very little formal education and my grandmother never even attended college so, from a young age they have really encouraged me to seek higher education. They have also instilled in me the value of a strong work ethic and have taught me that if I want to achieve anything in life, I’m going to have to put in as much effort as I want to get out.
Whether my grandmother was teaching me how to make meatballs, or letting me lick the spoon from the biscotti mix, spending time with her in the kitchen was always when we bonded most. As I stood there on the footstool watching her every move, she would explain how her mother used to make the same exact dish years and years ago. Passing down recipes from generation to generation was like passing down secrets; only those in the family had the privilege to know.
Thinking about my grandmother and the hundreds of meals she has prepared for her family in her lifetime makes me recognize how essential that mother figure is in an Italian household. As I compare my family’s dynamic to other’s in today’s society, I recognize what an important role women play in the family. They are the ones who bring everyone together, they are the ones taking care of the children, they are the ones making sure there’s food on the table; and my mother and grandmother are no exception. My mother took care of my brother and I while my father was at work and at 7 o’clock every night there would be a hot meal ready on the table, she did everything for everyone, yet she was always graceful and never once complained. She has always dressed well and kept up her appearance and she has taught me to do the same as I grow older and mature, when I was about seven years old she even once said “A girl should never be seen with chipped fingernails, you might as well go out in dirty underwear.” Growing up with this traditional household where the father is the breadwinner and the mother is the housewife makes me want the same for myself, despite this feminism movement society has latched onto recently; I want that old-fashioned life style when I have a family of my own.
Food
As I sit here and reminisce on my childhood, I begin to realize that the majority of my memories, if not all, were somehow based on food. Food by itself in my family was always a big production, whether it was preparing it or eating it. Christmas Eve is perhaps the biggest event of the year, it is a time when both sides of my family came together and the amount of food is endless. There is everything from my grandfather’s cioppino soup, to my aunt’s focaccia bread, to even my mother’s lasagna. Every holiday was practically centered around the meal; even the appetizers and the dessert were just as cherished as the main course. Despite the importance Italians place on food, it is never as important as the people you eat with. Special events such as holidays, birthdays, and even graduations always gave us an excuse to get everyone together, sit down, and simply enjoy each other’s company. Our society today is extremely technology driven that I have began to appreciate these moments that much more, it’s a time to talk to one another and actually have conversations with the people I love without any distractions.
One of the biggest days of the year in my family was the day that we devoted to making our own tomato sauce. In the month of August, my aunts, uncles, cousins all come together to make our own sauce to last us the year. I distinctly remember these days because it was a time where I really embraced my Italian side and could bond with my family. Despite how many times I cut my thumb or burned my hand in this process, I always appreciated it because this was something special to my family and it allowed me to really learn about where I came from.
Religion
My entire family is Roman Catholic and that has also had an immense influence on my life. Now, my parents never raised my brother and I in an extremely religious household like the majority of Italian parents, but they do however encourage us to attend church whenever we can. God was a more prominent figure in my life when I was younger; I would attend Catechism classes multiple times a week and would always attend Sunday mass with my mother. Although I unfortunately have not continued to stay committed to attending church, I do value my religion and really turn to it in times of trouble.
Stereotypes
There are hundreds of Italian stereotypes out there including we all have big families, we eat pasta for every meal, we are all apart of the mafia, and we all use our hands while speaking way too much. Now while some of these may be true-expect the mafia part-they aren’t nearly as apparent as everyone thinks it is. My family is definitely on the smaller size, my mother only had one sister and my father had two brothers, yet although it was on the smaller side, everyone has big personalities.
Italians are constantly featured in the media for a multitude of things, from the famous “Godfather” to MTV’s original reality series “Jersey Shore,” even Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” Italian culture is always being replicated in the media and although sometimes it is accurate, it is often times dramatized for television and viewer purposes. The Godfather, was an American film based on Mario Puzo’s novel, The Godfather. It was made in 1972 that illustrates what went on behind the scenes of one of the biggest organized crime associations in America during the 1940’s and 50’s, the mafia.
One of MTV’s biggest hits was Jersey Shore which first aired from 2009 through 2012, which a total of six seasons. This controversial reality television series featured eight Italian housemates spending their summer at the Jersey Shore in New Jersey. The show followed the casts every day life, focusing on the partying and club lifestyle these young adults faced, they often referred to themselves as “guidos” and “guidettes.” Italians across the nation were outraged with this show and how their culture was being portrayed, the men and women were seen getting drunk, getting arrested, and overall putting a bad light on Italians.
Bravo’s original series, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, focused on a different facet of the Italian culture, which is the family aspect. Several different women are featured on the reality series, many of which are somehow related. They are shown in the kitchen with their families, making pasta and cannoli’s, truly illustrating what a true Italian household looks like at dinner time. They have ups and downs like any other family and when they fight, they fight hard and when they love, they love hard. There was a particular seen where a housewife gets so upset she flips a table, truly demonstrating how hot tempered some of us are, but maybe not to quite that extent.
Sure, these media outlets somewhat depict what it’s like to be in an Italian family but most take it to an entire new level and can sometimes highlight more of the bad compared to the good. Because we are so passionate people we can sometimes get carried away or lose our temper, but it’s simply due to the fact that we do everything whole heartedly and put 110% into everything.
I have grown up in a traditional family my entire life and have been fortunate to be in an environment that prides themselves on their ethnicity and really embraces everything that comes with it. My entire family has impacted me in ways I can’t even imagine, they have illustrated that nothing can break a family bond. There are constantly a countless number of people I can turn to for help and while friends may come and go, I realize that my family will always be there for me to fall back on no matter what.
Link to “7 Reasons Why Growing Up in an Italian Family is the Best”
http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/growing-typical-italian-family/838934/
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